the tides...

My tides were changing...
In search of transcendental wisdom - in search of release and piece of mind.
Overcome the bad in order to inhale the light - Overcome the Self in order to reach the soul.
I've been changing the tides...
I've been changing the inner and the outer, trying to change the mind, to change the thoughts.
Changing my tides, gently moving the waters... these waters that are always cold, and that I always love...
I've been moving through these waters... the crystalline and the renewed...
but yet cold, and yet lunar...the same ancestral waters...

And to overcome the Self, i must overcome the bad. Inhale the Light, i must inhale the light to reach the soul...


But I seduce such odd things, odd dreams, odd thoughts, as I see beauty in eerie muses...
I am the sun, but I am also the tree as I am the wave.
I realized I am the tides. And forever I will be in the dark waters, for the mystery is my essence, and essence should never vanish.

And to change is to let something die, and to chose is to forget.

Reflections of the mind

Eyes are veiled.  Night takes sleep away, although mind longs to rest. An endless trip begins and dreams come as past memories, remembrances of what’s long forgotten. Nostalgia is constant, the bitter-sweet thought never leaves, like cold hands on those of warm heart…Dreams seem somehow connected, giving evidences to the truth - the one that lies deep within.

Taking form near a cliff, she does not fear death, she walks with it, above it, under it, beside it, she dances gracefully on the cliff. Danger makes her soul whole, makes her feel powerful, ethereal. Wind passes through her and she’s part of it. Against her pale face as knives! What a pleasure, a cold, silent pleasure. She loves the white as she tries to hide it. White is the water and the snow, white is the cold, white is her. White is a mysterious woman. The color of the ritual of souls!

Searching depth: contemplating stars, sending messages from afar… Beings of a greater nature - guardians of my universe, symbols of ancestor knowledge. She wishes to be whole with the stars, to be the night they bright in, patron of the thinkers, the giver of dreams.

Night is the cold! Black is the sky, the tree and the wave!

But she is gold under the Sun!

i want to transcend...

Pale Full Moon: Fragments of Sun passing through my window. You make my skin look so pure... It demands me to purge my soul.

to became clean

And as I was entering his room, hidden by invisibility of dreams... I slowly came to realize the torments of his past.

                He was covered by his dark vestures, lighted by the soft and warm flame of a candle, apparently alone in his own murkiness.  But my vision was too poor, I could barely see. That entire atmosphere was too somber… As my eyes join the dark, I notice a notebook over a secretary, a notebook and nothing more. He gently moves his trembling white hands over his head… while the candle’s flame crepitates, casting shadows on the wall…

- At that moment I asked myself what were the thoughts going deep in his mind… I felt so much desire, desire to penetrate it… to discover, once again, deepest secrets of one’s life. Like stars in night sky, faded memories of what’s not longer there, of what is no more, and yet, like stars, which light can dwell after death, scars will persist, not in flesh, nor in bones, but in thoughts. I felt so much desire! Desire to purify you, to become clean beside you! Although I didn’t know who you were, I knew you were my twin in soul… and that you could provide me peace. –

                Suddenly I saw dark figures taking shape. Seven of them:  with covered heads, peaked skinny fingers on their aged hands… All of them, writing on old paper… All images became clear: in that moment my soul was bound to yours, I knew who they were, the ones writing your bible - against your will – writing the fates of your life… Determining every step you take, demanding your emptiness… So, from now on, seven became my number for emptiness.

darkwaters

Muitas vezes penso no que seria ausentar-me em mares escuros, com apenas a Lua para culpar-me. Sucumbir a uma tranquila escuridão, embalada pelo toque frio das águas…

___

 

I often think what it would be: to be absent in dark seas, with only the moon to blame me, to succumb in a peaceful darkness, lulled by the cold touch of the waters…

2

My angel above the earth, your genie was not dignified by mortal fleshes,
Only I could have said what you wanted to make be heard,
I yearn for your devotion, now you're deceased.

Your angelical soul in your grotesque figure...
The hordes have groaned your demise,
And yet, the angels are seen lameting your death,
And I... I mourn for every lasting second that i know you have never existed.

Voice from celestial skies! Come hum in my dreams,
Caress my face in the fearful night.
Sing my Angel! Tear away all the sorrow,
Be whole within my soul - angel of distress...

How I wish your voice could live within me...
I chant for your life to be real!

1

I met a hidden part of me,
Never to be shown or deified
I saw putridity within my eyes...

The shame of facing me through a mirror,
Of watching those hands of mine.

I did things that I despise,
Although I can't deplore

For they nullify each other,
I absent my consciouness...

Inner pain is so overwhelming
That I must compensate it with blood.